Why irritating 'perfect' mums secretly don't think they're so great after all

For mothers consumed by ­feelings of inadequacy at the sight of friends juggling family demands with ease, hope is at hand.

Your smug friends are, it seems, fibbing about their ability to be perfect parents.

Research reveals that nine out of ten mothers constantly compare themselves with others, with 40 per cent believing their school-gate friends are better parents.

Supermum myth: Most mothers are under pressure to present an image that they are the perfect parent

Only one in four of the 5,000 mothers polled considered themselves to be better parents.

But the constant pressure to appear to be supermums is leading many to twist the truth, the survey revealed.

Popular topics for white lies are parenting problems, financial difficulties, television watching and the amount of quality time spent with children or partners.

The research was carried out for parenting website Netmums.

Siobhan Freegard, the website’s co-founder, said: ‘The research found that mums really do want to talk honestly with each other about the issues they all face but that many don’t because of this culture of “keeping up parenting”.

'But by telling white lies so as not to lose face, we are perpetuating the “perfect” myth, which in turn leads to more guilt and more lies.

‘No one is born knowing how to be a parent – you get along the best you can and it’s often the support of other parents that gets us through the tough times.

‘Mums need to be more honest with each other and come clean about the reality of being a 21st century parent.’

The research was part of the website’s Real Parenting Revolution campaign, which is backed by psychologists and aims to destroy the myth of perfect parents.

Television presenter Kate ­Garraway said: ‘The fibs mums tell to each other at the school gates may be more damaging than they realise.’

She added: ‘It can be difficult to admit that we need a helping hand but it’s important that we swallow our pride and do so because, despite appearances, there really is no such thing as the perfect parent.’